The Rev claims that the FBI or CIA, and maybe even the Court of Master Sommeliers, Photoshopped him into this photo. He says he never met this woman.
Aria: The Rev failed the Master Somm test because he wouldn’t be serious during the Blind Tasting test. He also called Fred Dame a pompous ass. Truth told, the Rev was envious of Fred Dame’s winning the coveted Remi Krug Cup. The Court was so offended that they banned the Rev for life, never able to test again.
Reverend Wineaux got started drinking wine at a very early age. His mom said it was too early, but it was her fault for leaving Mateus and Lancer’s bottles lying around the cottage. Being of sturdy French and Italian stock (and a few other varietals thrown in to make a complex but pleasant blend), the Rev. was able to handle his wine rather nobly. While other children in the village had juice in their sippycups, the Rev. was drinking Pinot Noir and Nero d’Avola from a Riedel [riedel] glass his Mom found in a pile of junk at The Salvation Army in Walla Walla…
Steven Spurrier*, in his biography of Reverend Wineaux, Pass the Bottle Wench!, said he was never able to squeeze an age out of the Reverend De’ Bordeaux (he has many “names”…) He avoids answering that question whenever asked at tastings or social events. He just gives the person asking a blank stare and wanders off to refill his glass. If he is in a playful mood and able to tolerate fools, he will hang out and put on a little show. The Rev. will swirl his wine, insert his nose into the glass with his eyes closed, savoring the aroma, and then gulp it down. “Nice bouquet, not the least bit bludgeony!” or “I get hints of, I’m trying to place it…boogers, yeah, boogers!” He then wanders off, leaving the spectators with puzzled looks on their mugs.
Reverend Wineaux actually lived with the woman in the photo, whom he met at a Grape Stomp at a winery in Julian, a cool town in the mountains East of San Diego. She and her girlfriend were doing the famous Lucy & Ethel wine stomp scene. The Reverend was smitten. He convinced her to let him move with her. She owned a modest home near the back end of Christian Brothers Winery. Rumor has it that she fell into a Foudre of White Zinfandel when no one was around to rescue her. They found her body floating on the top. She passed without ever letting a drop of the swill pass her lips!
*Steven Spurrier was the real person behind the movie, Bottle Shock, about The Judgement of Paris. Not to be confused with the movie, Sideways, the movie that ruined Merlot sales for decades.
Miles Raymond, “I’m not drinking any !@##$’n Merlot!”
Note: The film Sideways features the Château Cheval Blanc 1961 vintage as a plot element, despite the main character’s stated aversion to Merlot and dismissive statements about Cabernet Franc.
Reverend Wineaux’s Review: “The movie was pretty good, the best part was my cameo, but that’s another story. What totally ruined the movie for me [Despite Miles being a snivelling wussy,] was having to see that fat naked guy chasing the car down the street! No, Aria, that was definitely NOT my cameo!”